Daddy's Little Girl
By: Richard A. Rowe
 A girl abandoned by the first man in her life forever entertains
powerful feelings of unworthy of and incapable of receiving any man's love.
Even when she receives love from another she is constantly and intensely fearful of losing it. This is the anxiety, the pain of losing one's father. I had three fathers toss me aside.
The cumulative effect was catastrophic. It was a potent tragedy begun even
before I knew my name, one from which I was unable to escape for years."
The statement above was written by Jonetta Rose Barras in her powerful book, Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl?" Sister Barras speaks to the devastating consequences of fatherlessness on Black women. Much of the discussion generally focuses attention on the impact missing fathers have on their sons, but we would be remised in our efforts to heal our communities if we fail to pay attention to the pain and suppressed rage so many of our sisters are experiencing. What happens to a little Black girl who grows up without her father? Can she ever feel truly loved and fully alive? Does she ever heal - or is she doomed to live a wounded, fragmented life and to pass her wounds down to her children?
Our newsletter will invite Black women to share their stories about what sister Barass has called the Fatherless Woman Syndrome. In their own special way, Black women will tell us what it feels to be abandoned by the first man in her life, the first man who is suppose to look in her eyes, protect her, care for her and love her unconditionally. And, hopefully we - Black men/fathers - will listen this time, face the music and resolve to do whatever it takes to stem the tide of "fatherlessness" in the African American community.
Yes, our sons are hurting by not having a positive and caring male role model in their lives at an early age, and fathers must come to their rescue; however, it is clear that our daughters have been crippled, maimed and wounded, and unless we address their loss, many of them will never heal and their pain will manifest itself in promiscuous and anti-intimate behavior. Even worst, they will come to despise the Black men whose love they crave.
We encourage all of our readers to read Ms. Barass' book. Her chapters on Finding Peace and Healing are invaluable. Furthermore, we hope Black fathers/men will pay very close attention to this column and proceed to embrace their daughters for all the right reasons. Moreover, we hope Black women will pay very close attention to this column and find ways to forgive and move forward with their lives.
(If you have a story to share about this very important topic, please send it to our email address by August 22, 2003). Email address: AAMLI51@aol.com
| 
