A Father's Day Trubute

Each June, for as long as I can remember, Father's Day remembrances have catapulted me back to 1963. There, I'm a wide-eyed, pony-tailed little girl. Filled with anticipation at the prospect of my Daddy returning home from work. Back then, my family and I were poor, but held no sense of poverty because of the richness that Daddy's love provided.

The brief time I spent with my Dad helped to nurture my earliest recollections of a good Black man. For me, he was the standard that all other males had to meet. He was as strong as he was kind. His wisdom was equaled only by his thirst for knowledge. He stood tall, towering above me like a majestic oak. He spoke to me with gentle eyes and soothing words. For me, my Dad was the stuff that legends are made of.

My Dad has been frozen in time by his untimely death. He is a specter now; visible only through the eyes of the child I used to be. I see him in my mind's eye as an unbeatable champion who would fight to the death to defend his family and protect his community.

He was a good Black man of impeccable character who was unaffected by the temptations of urban living. More than 30 years after his passing have found me finally able to find a way to pay homage to the spirit of fatherhood that my Dad left inside me.

Fortunately for me, I was reared during a time when Black men were portrayed as being more connected to their families, their communities and their roots. It was a time when Black men were expected to be fixtures in their households. It was a time when a man's pride extended itself beyond his personal achievements to include the achievements of his people in general.

Under these conditions, I had no choice but to revere Black men. After all, they were my protectors. They were my teachers. They were my friends. My childhood was a hopeful time which left no doubt that good Black men were in abundance. That hopefulness was instilled in me and reinforced by my brothers, my uncles, my community and of course, my father. That's how I was raised and that is the attitude I bring to the table today. So, using the skills given to me by Black men to create the web site agoodblackman.com is no chore for me. It's a reflection of what I've always known. That is, a good Black man isn't hard to find. He's been here all along, waiting for us to rediscover him. I created this site in direct defiance of the critics who assert that "there are no good Black men.."

For me, the mission is clear. It is to provide a place for Black men to go where they would not be criticized unkindly, persecuted unjustly or judged unfairly. If such a place could not exist in their neighborhoods, in their minds or in their hearts, I would build it for them in cyber space.

agoodblackman.com is all about exploring, honoring and celebrating Black men. And it's as simple as that. Although it's a web site for Black men, it can't exist with input and feedback from the entire community. This is a web site for and about Black men which welcomes feedback from women.

However, agoodblackman.com is not a forum for male bashing or for perpetuating harmful stereotypes about Black men. Nothing demeaning, emasculating or bias against Black men will ever be posted. Not ever. This web site has been designed to be a place of hope, healing and love. Black men of all ages, shades and stations in life will find peace and sanctuary at agoodblackman.com. Visitors are able to navigate this site via a series of hyperlinks called "gateways." There are five gateways in all and each one is devoted to issues directly involving or effecting Black men. For instance, the gateway, "Our Heros" provides a chance for us to honor those Black men whose contributions don't typically make it onto the 6 o'clock news.

It was created in contrast to those newscasts so that Black men would not have to see themselves as dope dealers, car jackers, wife beaters or deadbeat dads. Instead, they can see the countless acts of kindness and courage that Black men display in their homes and communities. They can see themselves saviors and mediators.

Those Black men who provide counseling, guidance and mentoring are given the spotlight in the "Carriers of the Baton" gateway. This is a necessary gateway because it addresses the well kept secret of the capacity of Black men to "look out for their own." It's time to let the secret out. Here is where you'll find accounts of Black men who work full time jobs, raise their kids, nurture their marriages and still find time to be a Big Brother, participate in literacy programs or advocate for the homeless. This gateway is a testament to those Black men who pass their skills, expertise and experience from one generation to the next. It's also an opportunity for us to recruit other Black men to step up to the plate.

agoodblackman.com would not be complete without a section devoted to those Black men who nurture and nourish their relationships with their partners. That's why there are poems, essays, and articles from spouses and partners singing the praises of these men in the "Our Better Halves" gateway. Of course, you'll find plenty of submissions from Black women.

You'll find excerpts from books written in support of Black men. You'll find prose written in honor of good Black men. What you won't find is anybody singing the blues about how badly they've been treated by Black men. You won't find anyone exhaling or looking for lost grooves. Only good Black men reside here.

Recognizing the goodness in Black men is a part of my heritage. Their goodness is an easy observation for me to make because I have familiarized myself with their history. The "Keepers of the Flame" gateway places a great deal of emphasis on the history of Black people. It has to be done if we are to correct the mis-education and mis-information that has been embraced by the Black community.

It can only be done by providing historically accurate and scientifically relevant material to the community. This gateway highlights our Black scholars, teachers, inventors and leaders by presenting material authored by them. The objective is to expose the world to the little known genius that Black men have always possessed.

What we do to our young people, we do to ourselves. What we do for them will in turn benefit us. So, the gateway "Our Future" is an opportunity for us to place our young Black men center stage. Our young people need to see themselves in a positive light. They need to know that they have a future.

This gateway will not eliminate gang violence or teen pregnancy, but it will provide safe, positive alternatives to it. We know that Black children are making a positive difference in the world. We know that there are scores of future Black scholars, inventors and leaders. Here is where we celebrate them. They can come here 24 hours a day to get a pat on the back for a job well done.

agoodblackman.com was launched in February of 1999 just in time for Black History Month celebrations. Initially, dozens of people visited the site. Now, hundreds of people are. In time and with work, thousands of people will come. No matter how hard I work though, the site cannot exist with you. I have provided the foundation. The bricks and mortar must come from the Black community. So, if you have a funny, touching, thought provoking, positive story to tell about your brother, husband, friend, son or self, I want to hear it. I want to celebrate it.

We all need to believe in something greater than ourselves. That's why holding on to our dreams can be so important. That's why believing in each other can be so right. I miss my Daddy, but I know that I'm in good hands. Happy Father's Day.

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