Fathers & Their Children
David Miller, M.Ed.: Educational Consultant
The following are suggested ways to help fathers improve their relationships with their children.
- Be the person that you want your child to be.
Consistency in the lives of your children is essential. Adults need to be able to model appropriate behaviors.
- Create a home environment which is spiritually centered and rich with cultural values.
"People are the sum total of their experiences." Fathers need to instill strong spiritual beliefs and values to help a child navigate in a world filled with pitfalls. Fathers should visit a variety of religious institutions: Mosques, Churches and other spiritually based functions.
- Fathers must be teachers.
The obligation of manhood requires males to help a child maneuver through life and understand the influences which may lead to their destruction. The responsibility of manhood suggests that "men" equip children with the skills needed to challenge racism, ignorance and apathy.
- Fathers must become their children's hero.
All two often children look outside of the family for role models. Even if your child doesn't live with you, the obligation still remains for you to assume your natural role as a father, mentor, provider etc.
- Fathers must be involved in their children's education.
Regular visits to the school, monitoring homework and classwork. Fathers should also develop an on going relationship with their child's teachers.
Spending quality time with your child is more valuable than money. Arranging outings and time for extracurricular activities is vital to the father/child relationship.
Being a good father requires that you are well versed in the style, music and other trends and fads. Fathers must be one step ahead of their children at all times. Listen to the music and watch the television shows that your child likes so that you can understand what kinds of imagery they consume. Fathers must be able to discuss and challenge the images that children see in society.
Exercise unconditional love with your children. Unconditional love represents the foundation for the father/child relationship. Children make mistakes, however they still need love, support and guidance from their fathers.
David Miller is a freelance educational consultant specializing in curriculum development and implementation of programs for African-American males.
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