AGBM Salutes: Demitri Kornegay
I'm so glad this web-site exists because I want to tell you about a man
whose life is his ministry and his ministry is his life. My husband,
Demitri C. Kornegay is a Sergeant with a police department in the
Washington Metropolitan area. He works in the Office of Internal Affairs. This means there are a lot of police officers who don't like him because he investigates their actions. Add to that the fact he is a strong, intelligent, well-spoken, Black man and you soon understand why some folks have a real problem with him. He comes from a family of police
officers and has risked his life sixteen years to ensure the safety
of all the citizens he encounters.
In addition to making sure everyone in our society is treated fairly,
he is also a Deacon at our Church. Currently, he is teaching, sometimes
all by himself, a class at our Church called, "Men Under Construction."
He started the class eight years ago when he was a member of the SWAT
team. It used to tear him apart inside to kick in crack house doors and see young men hurting themselves and their communities. You have
to understand about my husband, he's not the kind of man who will
see something wrong and just shake his head. One of this man's favorite
sayings is, don't say somebody ought to do something, say I ought
to do something and then go do it.
He started talking to teachers, judges, parents, and the inmates themselves, and the he went and talked to our Pastor and told him he had an idea. If the Pastor would let him use some Church space on Saturday mornings, he told him he could change the world. The Pastor said okay and the next thing my husband did was to start sending letters and talking
to successful people in the Washington Metropolitan area. He convinced
them to come out and talk to "his guys" on Saturday mornings.
Every Saturday, there was something different for them to learn. From
fighting peer pressure to putting yourself in a position now, to go
to college later. Overhearing one of his talks to his guys about college
three years ago was one of the things that convinced me to get the
degree I'll receive this December. He speaks to High School kids about
aiming high for the future and he was the one policeman distraught
parents usually brought their unruly teenagers to at the police station
when they needed a good dose of reality. His classes also taught the
importance of setting a personal budget, how to have a successful
job interview, how to act when confronted by the police, and how to
find the "right" woman. He conducts Classes like for 13 Saturdays
in a row until the "Rites of Passage" Ceremony. It's held at the Church
during the Sunday morning 11 am service.
It warms your heart to see these young men holding their heads up
and walking proudly when they used to slouch and look like thugs.
Anyone's son from 12 to 21 can be in the class and they don't have
to be a member of the church. There isn't a cost. Despite all this,
no one pays him any attention. He says it doesn't matter, what's important
is we're helping. We're doing something.
My husband does these things while helping to raise his daughter from
his first marriage. Although they don't live in the same house, he
has made it his business to call her every morning with a thought
for the day, every afternoon to make sure she got home from school
all right, and every evening to say goodnight. He never missed a first day of school until she asked him to (she's 16 now). He sometimes
walks he her from school so they can talk or he might take her and
her friends for ice cream. She's the only person that knows where
her father is all the time and how to get in contact with him. He's
been this way for as long as I've known him and I've known him for
12 years.
Despite the fact her biological parents are divorced, our daughter
(that's right, I consider her my daughter too), has just made "Who's
Who in High School students," maintains a 4.0 grade point average,
place second in the science fair, consistently wins school oratorical
contests, and is on the Cheerleading Squad at school. Everyone and
every song seem to bash fathers but here is one no one wants to talk
about.
He used to send her letters in the mail so she would feel important.
He kept copies of the letters and was going to give them to her on
her 16th birthday, but when he looked at them all, he decided there
were too many girls with no male role models that could use the things he said to her. He decided to make the letters he wrote to Rhonda
(his daughter) into a book.
Unfortunately, the publishing community didn't believe there would
be a market for a book of advice from a responsible father to young
women aged 12 to 35 if that father happened to be an African American.
My husband often tells his guys when someone tells you "no," you say
"next." He started his own publishing company, named it after his
great, great grandfather who was a slave, made me the President, and
we published the book ourselves.
"Dear Rhonda- Twelve Letters to My Daughter and Her Sisters"
is available at any bookstore across the country and Amazon.com. The
book is now in its second printing. He edits my term papers, scrubs
the kitchen floors, and keeps the house clean while I attend classes
during the week. Despite all the things he does, he plans to do even
more. I saw him wipe away tears when we got our basement finished.
He said it was because he realized his grand parents never had a rec
room or a vacation. He now wants to find a way to pay off all the
bills our senior family members have so they can travel and have a
vacation. He wants to start an education fund for our cousins to better
their current working skills and college scholarships for every member
of the family that wants to go. He says don't worry about it, GOD
knows what we're trying to do and HE'LL make it happen.
I thought somebody out there ought to know about him. There are good
men that don't pause for the cameras. They're too busy making the
world a better place.
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