What Boys Really Talk About In The Locker Room
by A.R. Massingale
A good black man taught me a lot about sports, being competitive, and playing an honest game. It may have seemed like just a game of catch or basketball but the lesson's I learned as a young girl by my father have helped my tremendously in life overall. Actually, both of my parents exposed my sister, brother and me to sports at an early age. In fact, one of my earliest recollections was falling off the back of a tricycle onto a piece of glass. I still have the nasty scare to prove it but I learned to get back on the tricycle and try again.
One of my favorite things was to hear Daddy talk about playing baseball when he was a teenager. He always-made sports sound like so much fun. I could listen to him for hours when he told the stories about growing up in Kansas City and how his dad, Mack, played in the Negro leagues with the Kansas City Monarchs. He would tell us about hitting balls with the famous Satchel Paige. There were many other players like my grandfather Mack, who played in the Negro Leagues and down in Mexico but never made it into the history books. I realize the importance of really listening, talking and respecting our elders for the things they have done and the contributions they have made.
My father's other love, besides my Mom whom he was married to for 33 years (my jersey number when I played HS basketball), was basketball. He played football, and basketball at Sumner High school in Kansas City and North Carolina State. I could guarantee a delay in doing my chores if I got Daddy to start talking about his basketball playing days. At one time he was on the road with the Harlem Globetrotters.
He was on the team that lost all the time against the Globetrotters. He said it was hard to loose all the time especially since some of the players on his team (he was always the captain) where better players than the Globetrotters. I found out he was fondly called Mandrake the Magician by some because his ball handling skills were so awesome. Of course, I'd have to say "Daddy, show me some of your moves." That would result in me getting the basketball from the front closet and it was "show time." Getting Daddy to talk about his athletic days became a favorite past time. He told me about playing basketball in the army and later how he was one of the first black businessmen in the Kansas City area that owned a large bowling Complex. Not an easy task for a black person in the mid 50's.
It is of no surprise that some of my fondest memories are centered around an athletic sport. There was a sport for every season. In the winter getting up early to go snow skiing. I always liked to have my gear packed, and laid out by the door. I wanted to be on time and ready to go (I'm still like that). Our family of five would load up the "Blue Bug" as our VW Beetle was affectionately called and putt, putt off to the mountains where we were often the only African-American family on the slopes.
I think my parents wanted us to have skills in areas above and beyond what they were exposed too and give us as many options as possible. My brother, another good black man, excelled in this sport and later became a ski instructor for awhile. In the summer, Daddy would tune up all of our bikes in preparation of bicycle Sunday. I was so proud that my Mom and Dad were in shape and fit enough to ride the 10 miles with us. I learned through example the importance of physical fitness at any age.
My father's athletic legacy taught me about teamwork, leadership, playing against the odds, how to be a winner even in the face of defeat. One of his favorite sayings was "nothing beats a failure but a try." Through sports I learned about integrity and that a good player never cheats. I learned how to be a gracious winner and looser. Knowing you have to give 110% even if you don't want to and you are tired.
My parents spent a great deal of quality time with us and I'm so grateful they did because it helped build and give me confidence an early age. My Mom, who is now a grandmother, continues the legacy she and my father began many years ago and helps my sister with her twin girls when they go to swim lessons. I know they will be signed up for ballet, gymnastic and skiing lesson and they haven't even turned two yet.
Daddy will always be my #1 and favorite athlete because he taught me a thing or two about basketball, baseball, fixing cars and what boy's really talk in the locker room. It has been 10 years since his passing and I think I have accomplished a lot since he has been gone. Although, I haven't won any Olympic gold medals, I have finished two marathons and in August will participate in my second Danskin's All Women's triathlon. I think he would be proud of us all. I can feel him in my heart, cheering me on every step of the way.
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